MY BODY CONFIDENCE JOURNEY

I laugh when people say crazy things like “Fatima your body is perfect, you don’t have to worry about a thing”. I am the same girl who weighed 95 lbs at one time, and 165 lbs at another. So trust me when I tell you that the grass isn’t greener on this end (it’s photoshopped). I’ve had my fair share of not loving my body, I still to this day have to make a conscious effort to be kind to it.

Pre pregnancy body.

When I was pregnant with Jayden 5 years ago (I feel old saying that but in my defense, I had him at 16 ), I was told by my OB/GYN that I was too skinny, and that it was becoming a concern that the baby too was small. She put me on a nutritional drink (Ensure) that was loaded with a gazillion calories, and was meant to help me put on some weight. That stuff is nasty okuurrr?I was pregnant as hell here lol, still wearing my regular double zero clothes, minding my own pregnant business and staying hydrated. All went okay but I still was very conscious about how “tiny” I was.

In the 8th-9th month I managed to get myself looking like an Adolescent cow, felt like one too . I really enjoyed looking at my body from the neck down. I don’t think there is anyone dead or alive who was/is as pregnant and proud as I was in my last trimester . I was the proudest sexiest pregnant woman then- Checkmate Kim K

This was EXACTLY one month after I gave birth. I was snatched honey, you couldn’t tell me nothing or take me nowhere. I was feeling like Mariah on a daily basis, until the cockiness got to my head I put on over 60 lbs. Kid you not!

I put on the weight and must have used my toes to do my eyebrows, because they were trash. What was wrong with me? And If you had googled the word “Insecure” at the time this pic was taken, my face would have popped up first. Every went south, I didn’t feel like me. I was merely existing and not living. My self worth was measured in food- but that was vanity. Thank God for honest friends (mine are just plain rude ) they sat me down and said “Honey do you realize that you use Jayden as a shield? You hide behind him in pictures, and try to use him as an excuse for not taking care of yourself”. Shooketh as I was, I knew they were right (that’s an unusual occurrence).

I started taking my cute chubby self to the gym, rolls, muffin tops and all. I was clueless- I didn’t know where to start from but I had to keep going. When I saw that first pound drop off, you could convince me that I didn’t win the lottery. It was like finding a missed call from Beyonce. That gave me the first spark of hope, It reminded me that I was the 5th member of destiny’s child that just never made it to the billboards.

I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be. My body confidence is still a work in progress, I am beautiful, strong and powerful. I am both whole and complete. I was crafted in the image of God. I have unlimited potential, I can do anything I put my mind to. My relationship with my body is vibrant and healthy. I am an unstopped force capable of achieving anything. I am strength, I am abundant, I am blessed. I am healthy, I am motivated, I am dedicated. I am confident, I am fearless and I persistent. I am balanced, I am positive and I am loving my life.

See working out in the gym is just one piece of the puzzle. You’ve got to work on your mind too. You are in command of your mind. You’ve got to be in the moment, right here and right now. They say your why should make you cry, Tell me int he comments, what is your why? Why do you want what you want? Share with me some of your motivation tips. Also let me know if you would like for me share my workout essentials.